When I Grow Up

4 problems people who talk to themselves have to face and how to solve them

How to hide talking to yourself
  1. People think you’re mad. Or at the very least, a bit weird.
  2. Although it’s kind of nice that your husband also works from home, or is just around a lot; it’s really annoying that you can’t talk loudly to yourself; because even though it’s only him, that would still be a bit embarrassing.
  3. If you just think a thought, it’s not quite real enough, so you have no choice than to say it out loud. That can actually be somewhat bothersome. Particularly in public…..

4. It is good parenting practice not to talk to yourself in front of your kids even though you know they don’t care one jot. Otherwise they grow up thinking it’s perfectly normal and start doing it themselves in front of other people.

It is my theory that many creative souls struggle to hold onto all the inspiration and whirlwind thoughts that whizz round our minds. In order to try and hold onto them for longer than the fleeting second it skips into our brain, we say it out loud. Once its been said, it transfers from a momentary whimsy into something of more substance; recognisable by our use of actual words rather than simply an abstract jumble of notions. This might be something as simple as deciding which clothes to put on in the morning to the sudden spark of an idea that you simply cannot forget.

Here are my tips to combat the four problems I mentioned above:

  1. Embrace the weirdness! When I grow up it is fully my ambition to become that eccentric lady everyone in the village knows is a bit batty, but they don’t mind! It would help the whole impression if I’m also rich and an artist.
  2. My husband is well aware that I talk to myself, but I still feel it’s not the sexiest thing to be caught doing. The best piece of advice I can offer if you’re in a similar situation is to devise some sort of warning system as to when he leaves his office. A very creaky door is a good one. Or a dog that warns you of his imminent presence. If you’re gadgetly minded, then I’m sure there’s some sort of motion sensor thing you can come up with so Alexa will tell you when it’s time to shut up.
  3. You just have to learn to say the thing very quietly and hardly moving your lips so people don’t notice. If you have a side-hustle career as a ventriloquist this will help. If you don’t, maybe it’s worth seriously considering it as a side-line to boost your income when you only have a pension to live off. By that time you’ll be an expert at it so you may as well. (Of course then you’ll have to deal with the additional weirdness of having your hand up some creepy doll’s backside.)
  4. I’ve learned this the hard way. I seriously had a debate with my daughters last year as to whether it was less weird just to talk out loud at a normal volume so everyone around you know’s exactly what’s going on (my eldest’s opinion); or mumble quietly under your breath (my youngest’s opinion). I’ll be honest, I wasn’t particularly aware that I’d talked to myself in front of the kids, but I obviously must have done! Here’s a suggestion: Talk to your children instead of to yourself. When you’re standing in the kitchen with your hands on your hips and say, ‘What shall we have for dinner Georgie?’ and they reply with ‘Pizza,’ but you do chicken and vegetables anyway; they’ll soon learn that you don’t really want an answer, but it just looks better.

(Sorry to interrupt, but just quickly; if you enjoy reading my blog, PLEASE vote for me in the UK Blog awards. Just click ‘Vote Now’ under ‘When I Grow Up’. Thank you SO much. 🙂 )

I have another genius solution (if I do say so myself) which solves the whole problem of talking to yourself in one easy step: Become a youtuber! Ok, I’m still amazed at how many people don’t know who or what youtubers are, and to those people you will still be strange. I mean, who walks along talking to a camera? They may have heard of the term ‘selfie’ and think you’re doing a whole load of those, but to those who recognise the G7X with gorilla-pod set-up, you’ll actually look like a normal person! (well….ish)

But think about it; if you’re walking round Tescos with a camera pointing at you, and you’re saying ‘I can’t decide whether or not can be bothered to cook a sweet and sour sauce from scratch. Should I just buy a jar?’ They’ll just think you’re talking to your YouTube audience!

And if you’re merrily chatting away to yourself in the kitchen and turn around to find your husband standing there waiting to make a cup of tea, you can just say, ‘Oh sorry, I was vlogging,’ and wave vaguely at some cluttered shelves where there might be a camera perched.

You can probably get away with this with your children too. But you will of course have to actually make the videos to show them. That’s a bit of a pain, but maybe worth it! Check out my YouTube channel and play the game of ‘Spot when she would be talking to herself right now.’

By the way, talking to yourself is not as uncommon as you might think. Woman’s Hour did a brilliant show about it a while ago. The podcast is worth a listen.

Do you talk to yourself? Do you try and disguise it from family or the general public; or just get on with it? Do you know someone who talks to themself? Please share this article with them to help them out!

If you’d like to actually give youtubing a go, then this is what I recommend:

Linking with the #sharealllinkup at Not Dressed as Lamb

 

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