The reality of my October is this: I spent a miserable month in a block of flats with paper-thin walls and not getting much sleep due to the noises; a tiny bed and inability to relax in such a soulless place. What you see of my October is quite different: Photos of me smiling in outfit posts on my Instagram and blog; photos of beautiful landscapes and sunsets; blog posts about pretty parks and interesting places to visit, and youtube videos showing me being (mainly) positive. Creators get a lot of stick in the media for giving an unrealistically happy, positive, perfect image of life, but at the end of the day, would you actually want it any differently?
I do my utmost not to dwell on negativity; particularly to other people, even if I do have a good moan to the dog on our walks! Chris didn’t even really know how bad I felt last month because there was no point – there wasn’t anything he could do about it. I just like to try and make the most of things. So I got on with work and we enjoyed our evenings and weekends together as best we could. Although I did mention briefly how I was feeling on my Youtube vlogs of our time away, I didn’t spend ages explaining every detail as to why I wasn’t feeling great or complaining about the situation. Even if my immediate thoughts and feelings are negative ones, at the end of the day, I was very grateful for the opportunity to travel abroad and experience autumn in New England, and see all its wonderful colours. So that is what I focussed on in the videos and on Instagram and on my blog posts.
Some newspaper and magazine articles would have us believe that this more positive content would trigger jealousy and unrealistic expectations of life. But what would have been my alternative? Would anyone really like to see photos of the leaf blowers that disturbed me all day? Or the digger where construction was taking place nearby? Or the bare brown wall in the living room flat? Or dead cockroaches in the trap? Or Instagram Stories where you get to hear the next door neighbour moving her coat-hangers back and forth while she decided what to wear at 5am? I very much doubt it (but if you think otherwise, please let me know in the comments)!
To be honest, even if it became a massive trend for people to post this kind of ‘real’ content, I still wouldn’t join in. Because the more you dwell on the negative, the more it gets you down. If everyone started consuming photos, blogs and videos of the mundane, boring and ‘realistic’ side of life, I’m sure we’d end up with a very miserable population indeed! So I am perfectly happy for people to keep posting their best life. Their more positive, happy, fun kind of life. Even if it means scrolling to photos of successful bloggers with perfect figures wearing beautiful clothes in stunning locations; I would MUCH rather that, and beautiful curated feeds of pleasing, lovely images, than the alternative. Granted, the odd reminder (particularly to young people) that what you see online is never the whole story, is definitely a good thing, but we shouldn’t change our content if we don’t want to. So I choose to post my best photos on Instagram and here on the blog, but on YouTube I’m probably a bit more real, in that you do get to see my messy house because that’s just the way it is, and sometimes I share my little moans and rants – although I would edit some of that out if I go on about it too long!
I’d love to know your opinion; what do you think? As a content consumer would you rather see perfectly styled images or pictures with snotty tissues on the arm of the sofa in the background? Do you think what you see affects your outlook on life for the better or worse? As a content creator, do you feel too much pressure to be ‘perfect’? Would you rather your readers and viewers see the best of your life or are you happy to share the bad bits as well?
PS. If you enjoy reading my blog, PLEASE vote for me. Follow this link to the UK blog awards and click ‘Vote Now’ under When I Grow Up blog. I really would appreciate it. x 🙂
Joining the #sharealllinkup with Not Dressed as Lamb.
Elizabeth
November 24, 2018It’s sort of similar to a photo album – you only put in the nice photos, not the ones with trees growing out of your head or your skirt tucked into your knickers!
I think there’s a difference between posting a nice image and photoshopping something to look perfect. On my blog, I show me wrinkles and all – but I choose the nicest photos!!
Helen
November 29, 2018Yes exactly! I’m with you on the photoshopping too – what’s the point in making myself look better for Instagram – if someone from there met me, the last thing I’d want them to think is ‘You’re much fatter and older in real life’!! But I did clone out a very annoying construction crane in the background of a recent photo because it was really spoiling it!
ratnamurti
November 25, 2018Personally, I do think that it’s more gracious and inspiring to show the better aspects. Because it lifts the reader up, inspires. If I kept reading a regularly negative blog I sure would give up reading it. I’ve written posts whilst really sad dramas were happening around me. But I still endeavour to keep things light and inspiring. And keep difficult things private. Because they pass. But an uplifting blog post has a longer life. Keep going. I love the way that you write.
Helen
November 29, 2018Yes I agree – there was a YouTuber I stopped watching because in every video she’d talk about all the bad things that happened that day, and it was just getting me down! Maybe I’m being selfish, but I also think dramas and difficulties are better kept private – on the whole. If you can spin it around to show a positive outcome or a way of dealing with it, it could help other people get through the same problem, and that is a good thing. Anyway, thank you for stopping by and for your lovely comment. 🙂
Jeannie Mullinder
September 6, 2020‘Even if it means scrolling to photos of successful bloggers with perfect figures wearing beautiful clothes in stunning locations’
Personally I hate these kinds of blogs, they give a false impression of people and their lives, what is the point of that ? Life isn’t all the latest fashions, nail polish colour or hairstyle or having your latest kitchen adventure turn out beautifully.
No give me real life everytime, don’t kid me or try to fool me (not meaning you personally) when I arrive at one of those ‘everything in my life is perfect and beautiful’ blogs, I get out of there pronto ! They only make me feel more inferior, drowning under a pile of jobs, forgetting to brush my hair, and grabbing at a packet of biscuits instead of conjuring up a culinary delight.
You are human Helen, you are normal, and I wouldn’t mind hearing about how you really feel anytime.
Kindest regards