I still haven’t worked out what to do when I grow up! I’m mainly a writer, an artist, and a fairytale dressmaker with various crafty hobbies! Here (and on YouTube) I share bits of my life, thoughts, and what I’m learning along the way. Let’s find magic and inspiration; join me for this creative living adventure!

 

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An admission of jealousy of other bloggers

jealousy of bloggers

Have you ever noticed how it’s generally successful people who advise you not to compare yourself with others? I hear it a lot lately and it’s really annoying me! When I hear someone with a hundred and seventy thousand Instagram followers and a blog with an income good enough to support their family, spout quotes on their popular podcast such as “Comparison is the thief of joy”, do I think, Oh yes, that’s really good advice, thank you for that? No I do not. I swear out loud and stick two fingers up at my computer.
I hesitated as to whether to share this horrible, ugly side of my personality here, but then I thought, Sod It, no-one’s reading this anyway(!)….

There is nothing I hate more than reading about or listening to interviews with successful bloggers who say something along the lines of ‘It all happened by accident really. I was just blogging for myself and then being jealous of bloggersit all took off.’ My heart seethes with bitterness that I know is of no good to me what-so-ever. I usually have to stop, take the dog for a walk and sob my heart out. Another one is, ‘I suppose I was just lucky – I started blogging seven or eight years ago when blogging was just starting out.’ I started blogging thirteen years ago and I never got that luck. Why not? Why not me?

My friend Lorraine is made of 100% kindness and she would never think thoughts like this. She’d just be happy for the other bloggers and wish them well with their success. I strive to be more like her, but I think there is something ingrained in me that is just horrible. I don’t want to take away their successes, but I selfishly want a piece of it. I almost feel I deserve a piece of it. I’ve invested so much time and heart and soul into this blog; I think my writing is fine, my photography is fine (I think both are actually more than fine, but I don’t want to come across as egotistical as well as bitter and twisted), so why doesn’t anyone want to visit it? Why do blogs with lazy writing and borrowed photographs get fifty comments? I’ve seen paid-for articles that are so bad I wonder how they can ever get away with it. If I was actually given money to write about something, I’d put so much effort into the piece and be proud of it.

I begrudge less the people who have obviously worked bloody hard on their blogs and it’s no wonder they made it in this business. However pretty soon those nasty thoughts creep into the back of my mind and I think, Well I worked bloody hard too, so again, why not me? Last year I put my clothing business aside to really make a proper go of it. I blogged three times a week and every day in October; read as much as I could about how to grow your blog and followed all the advice. I even bought a Creative Live course on blogging. And at the end of the year, how much did it all help? Not one little tiny jot!

writing a blog

You can probably tell that I’m writing this in a bit of a mood – a bit of a huff! I love blogging, I really do. I love the crafting of sentences; the re-reading and editing to make sure I’m completely happy with my writing. I love the process of taking photos to go with the piece and to help tell the story and tinkering in Lightroom until it’s just right. However, is there really any point when no-one is seeing any of it? Is it worth the effort?

Musings and ramblings, Writing,
004 comments

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Worbarrow bay
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Dance of the Butterflies A semi-circle bay of liquid turquoise as still as a deep secret and barely a sound as the languid waves touched the pebbled beach. It was so much warmer than expected; unneeded layers draped over our arms. Merlin panting; concerning us for lack of fresh water until we found a Jurassic filtered stream. All of us excited for his first trip to the sea All of us excited for our first day to be free. I’d only thought yesterday I was yet to see a butterfly, but as we walked the stony track to the car we saw a pair of them, unidentifiable by their urgency. Enchanted by each others’ spirit they were trapped in their frenzied jive of spring. Unable to leave each other, or to leave the dance Unable to be completely released; unable to take the chance.   Whispers of the Stones Imagining recollections of the lives of here The way they felt; the joy, the fear The mundane, their day to day The colours of spring, the winter grey The salty breezes absorbed in their bones Their secrets and memories whispered by the stones   I’ve started an art journal! And these are the words I wrote to go with the mixed media art I came up with. It was all inspired by the first time we were allowed to leave the house for actual fun! We went to Tyneham Village – an abandoned place where everyone was evacuated for the Second World War, and weren’t allowed back. A short walk from there is Worbarrow Bay; and with the sun shining, the sea really did look turquoise. If you’d like to see our day out, I have started back on YouTube again, and it’s in this week’s video:

4 Comments

Nicki

It is so hard not to compare yourself to others. I love your honesty in this post. I often feel like this too, both in my day job and my blogging. It’s so hard to get noticed in this society

Reply

Helen

Thank you for the empathy Nicki; I hope things improve for you in your job and your blogging 🙂

Reply

Julia Smith

I applaud your honesty Helen. I’ve watched your YT videos and read your blog for quite some time now and really enjoy what you do. You share honestly and I agree that your blog is way more than adequate. I think you have integrity as a blogger and blogger and you should be very proud of that. Julia x (Create What May)

Reply

Helen

Thank you so much for your message and kind words Julia, it really means a lot to me 🙂 Thank you for watching and reading! x

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