I still haven’t worked out who I want to be or what I want to do when I grow up, so on this blog please join me while I try and work it out while keeping child-like creativity alive!  Find home and fashion inspiration; travel and days out; photography, writing and more. Have fun looking around 🙂

 

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An admission of jealousy of other bloggers

jealousy of bloggers

Have you ever noticed how it’s generally successful people who advise you not to compare yourself with others? I hear it a lot lately and it’s really annoying me! When I hear someone with a hundred and seventy thousand Instagram followers and a blog with an income good enough to support their family, spout quotes on their popular podcast such as “Comparison is the thief of joy”, do I think, Oh yes, that’s really good advice, thank you for that? No I do not. I swear out loud and stick two fingers up at my computer.
I hesitated as to whether to share this horrible, ugly side of my personality here, but then I thought, Sod It, no-one’s reading this anyway(!)….

There is nothing I hate more than reading about or listening to interviews with successful bloggers who say something along the lines of ‘It all happened by accident really. I was just blogging for myself and then being jealous of bloggersit all took off.’ My heart seethes with bitterness that I know is of no good to me what-so-ever. I usually have to stop, take the dog for a walk and sob my heart out. Another one is, ‘I suppose I was just lucky – I started blogging seven or eight years ago when blogging was just starting out.’ I started blogging thirteen years ago and I never got that luck. Why not? Why not me?

My friend Lorraine is made of 100% kindness and she would never think thoughts like this. She’d just be happy for the other bloggers and wish them well with their success. I strive to be more like her, but I think there is something ingrained in me that is just horrible. I don’t want to take away their successes, but I selfishly want a piece of it. I almost feel I deserve a piece of it. I’ve invested so much time and heart and soul into this blog; I think my writing is fine, my photography is fine (I think both are actually more than fine, but I don’t want to come across as egotistical as well as bitter and twisted), so why doesn’t anyone want to visit it? Why do blogs with lazy writing and borrowed photographs get fifty comments? I’ve seen paid-for articles that are so bad I wonder how they can ever get away with it. If I was actually given money to write about something, I’d put so much effort into the piece and be proud of it.

I begrudge less the people who have obviously worked bloody hard on their blogs and it’s no wonder they made it in this business. However pretty soon those nasty thoughts creep into the back of my mind and I think, Well I worked bloody hard too, so again, why not me? Last year I put my clothing business aside to really make a proper go of it. I blogged three times a week and every day in October; read as much as I could about how to grow your blog and followed all the advice. I even bought a Creative Live course on blogging. And at the end of the year, how much did it all help? Not one little tiny jot!

writing a blog

You can probably tell that I’m writing this in a bit of a mood – a bit of a huff! I love blogging, I really do. I love the crafting of sentences; the re-reading and editing to make sure I’m completely happy with my writing. I love the process of taking photos to go with the piece and to help tell the story and tinkering in Lightroom until it’s just right. However, is there really any point when no-one is seeing any of it? Is it worth the effort?

Musings and ramblings, Writing,
004 comments

Other posts you may like:

Oshun dress
Cultural Appropriation in Fashion. Should it really matter?
September 7, 2017
  If you know me, then you’ll know I am a person who happily trundles on in life, getting on with things as pleasantly as I can, doing as much as possible to avoid drama or confrontation. However, I think someone linked to a blog post I wrote over year ago, as I’ve come back from holiday to a flurry of angry comments on the post called OSHUN – THE STORY OF MY CLOTHING BRAND, AND THE YELLOW DRESS INSPIRED BY BEYONCE’S IN LEMONADE. I thought I would respond to those comments in a blog post, rather than reply to them individually, as hopefully I will explain myself and my opinions in a more complete and thought-through way. So to understand what I’m about to talk about, you might want to have a look at that post first and have a read of the recent comments below it. In summary though, it was written at a time when Beyonce appeared to be channeling the ancient African deity, Oshun, so I wrote a bit about her for those who hadn’t heard of her before, and explained how I came to choose her to name my clothing business and a dress after. I wrote a brief message a couple of days ago addressing this on my Threads of a Fairytale website, and if you don’t mind, I’ll quote it now as an introduction: “Hello! I’m back from holiday and had a wonderful time exploring the Acropolis and other ancient remains and ruins around Greece and Albania and have come home full of inspiration. Three new goddess dresses influenced in design by ancient Greek attire will be appearing in the Threads of a Fairytale shop very soon – one in pink, one gold, and one in a mottled green and grey – all pure silk chiffon. I will continue to be inspired by religions and cultures from all around the world; ancient and modern, because that’s the way art grows, develops and nourishes one’s soul and interest. The term “cultural appropriation” seems to be more in fashion than fashion itself at the moment….If you’re a regular visitor to this page, you’ll know that I changed my clothing business name from Oshun to Threads of a Fairytale a couple of months ago and explained my reasons here. And no, the change had nothing to do with cultural appropriation because I’m sorry, I simply don’t agree that it’s a problem here. We have been influenced by our neighbours of all colours and heritage since time began and I think that’s a wonderful thing. Segregating oneself and not allowing this to happen comes from a place of ego, not from a place of good”. If you are going to comment here or on facebook (or anywhere), I would appreciate it if you take the time to read this whole piece to fully understand where I’m coming from, and hopefully even take a minute to think about some of my points. I haven’t written this to try to get anyone to change their opinions – of course we’re not all going to agree, but I want to say at the beginning that I have listened to your comments; looked into them further, and really given it some thought from all points of view before writing this……

4 Comments

Nicki

It is so hard not to compare yourself to others. I love your honesty in this post. I often feel like this too, both in my day job and my blogging. It’s so hard to get noticed in this society

Reply

Helen

Thank you for the empathy Nicki; I hope things improve for you in your job and your blogging 🙂

Reply

Julia Smith

I applaud your honesty Helen. I’ve watched your YT videos and read your blog for quite some time now and really enjoy what you do. You share honestly and I agree that your blog is way more than adequate. I think you have integrity as a blogger and blogger and you should be very proud of that. Julia x (Create What May)

Reply

Helen

Thank you so much for your message and kind words Julia, it really means a lot to me 🙂 Thank you for watching and reading! x

Reply

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