I still haven’t worked out who I want to be or what I want to do when I grow up, so on this blog please join me while I try and work it out while keeping child-like creativity alive!  Find home and fashion inspiration; travel and days out; photography, writing and more. Have fun looking around 🙂

 

00

How I’d do things differently if I wasn’t a teenage Mum

Teen mom

I’ve never really considered being a Mummy blogger – I’m not sure why – it just wasn’t what I wanted to write about; however this topic of conversation came up in the car a while ago, and as it was Mothers’ Day on Sunday, I thought I might do something a bit different and write about the subject in a blog post!
Yes I am in a category. I am a statistic of the 90’s. I was a teenage Mum….

I became pregnant with our first baby when I was sixteen, and she was born when I was seventeen. Chris, my then boyfriend, now husband is three years older than me. It may be a surprise to know that this was a planned and well thought-out decision. Most people find it difficult to understand this. Even I, now, twenty-three years later find it difficult to understand this, but it seemed like a good idea at the time!

“What a waste,” the woman who worked in the newsagent round the corner said to me. I’m sure many more were thinking it, but anyway, for a change, I’m not writing a blog post about me and my life; it’s about theirs: Rain and Jude, our two beautiful daughters’. If I’d had children in more recent years, when it is more usual to do so; would I have brought them up differently?

Rain, a few days old, and me, age 17

Here’s the thing; the bombshell: no I wouldn’t. To this day I believe that parenting has absolutely nothing what-so-ever to do with how old you are. Good parent or bad parent; whether you’re sixteen or sixty, if you’re new to it, I think you’re unlikely to do anything different. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent other than a natural desire to become one. Then you’re guided by instinct and learning from the way that you yourself were brought up. That sort of thing just doesn’t change when you get older. We all simply do our best.

Teen Mum

On my 18th birthday

Other things change – guidelines as to whether you put your baby on its front or back; smacking becomes illegal; Super Nanny gave us the naughty step and the next telly child-rearing expert took it away again; and whereas in my day there was pretty much a handful of books on the subject; now there is a plethora of parenting advice to baffle and confuse you. Praise, praise, praise was all the thing when mine were young, but now these ‘millennials’ have grown up and have a reputation for expecting the world at their feet, they’re wondering if that was the right approach after all. I haven’t even mentioned NetMums and Mumsnet! Overall I think all this new advice (and I hear some of it on Woman’s Hour occasionally) is a really good thing, but I hope parents don’t worry too much about it.

Teenage Mum advice

Glastonbury Festival with Rain age 2 1/2, me 7 months pregnant with Jude

If I were to have more children now, there are two things I’d do differently. One is make sure I was a bit more savvy about certain things because the way I responded to a personal problem one of my kids was having in recent years was not the best. The other is the way I handled food when they were younger. (Now I’d let them stop eating when they wanted to, and I wouldn’t use pudding as some kind of reward.) Both those things I’ve learned from the experience of being a Mum, and hindsight is a wonderful thing!

I don’t think Chris and I made a bad job of it at all, but there’s no ‘considering we were so young’ that needs adding onto that. The best parenting praise of all came from Rain and Jude a couple of days ago when; now as adults, they said to us that they are very glad they got us as parents. And yes, I did have to wipe away a tear or two!

I hope all you wonderful mothers had a lovely relaxing day on Sunday!

This was the one parenting book I owned when the kids were younger, and I think my Mum bought it for me:

by - [-]
Price: - -

 

Musings and ramblings, Writing,
00no comment

Other posts you may like:

jealousy of bloggers
An admission of jealousy of other bloggers
June 15, 2017
Have you ever noticed how it’s generally successful people who advise you not to compare yourself with others? I hear it a lot lately and it’s really annoying me! When I hear someone with a hundred and seventy thousand Instagram followers and a blog with an income good enough to support their family, spout quotes on their popular podcast such as “Comparison is the thief of joy”, do I think, Oh yes, that’s really good advice, thank you for that? No I do not. I swear out loud and stick two fingers up at my computer. I hesitated as to whether to share this horrible, ugly side of my personality here, but then I thought, Sod It, no-one’s reading this anyway(!)….
Your Best Year 2017 by Lisa Jacobs, book review
January 12, 2017
This is a productivity workbook and online business planner and I first discovered last year’s version in March. I’m very excited to actually be starting this where I should be – from the beginning! I had a quick flick-through when I bought 2017’s planner in December. Take a look at this You Tube video for my first thoughts and comparisons. I’ve now spent the last three days properly reading the book and filling everything in ready to start the year; so I’m now ready to write the review….
The story of an entrepreneur – Vikki Herbert from baby sling company, Wrapamore
June 3, 2016
In the 1970s my Mum bought a baby carrier from Mothercare that was so good, she kept it in the loft until I had my own children. Everywhere I went with my babies strapped to my front, people asked me where I got it from because there was nothing like it on the market at the time. It was large enough to offer head support and keep their legs warm, when the only alternative in shops were tiny strappy things that did neither those things. The down-side was I did feel like a blue and white striped kangaroo with this big pouch in front of me. Occasionally at Glastonbury Festival I’d spot an Earth Mother with their baby in a sling and was envious of the style, but had no clue how to go about making or buying one. Thankfully for parents nowadays, you have websites like Wrapamore, who offer the perfect solution to carrying your babies with you. I asked Vikki more about her company….
I knew I should never have given her that fifty pounds
March 19, 2017
It was one of those freezing cold miserable January days. Everyone is depressed because the fun of Christmas is over and cold and flu bugs are going around everywhere and it was no wonder I’d caught it too. There was no-one at work to cover for me, so I trudged in, coat and scarf wrapped around me, and hoped I wasn’t on the perfume till near the door. My manager took pity on me and gave me the best spot at the back and near the heater. Amy must have forgotten I work at Boots on Mondays. Or perhaps she didn’t know – my shifts do change around a bit. Anyway, I spotted her browsing over the other side and I admit, my attention wasn’t wholly on my customers. She was at the makeup aisles for three-quarters of an hour! Has she not got anything better to do? She swatched lipsticks and tested eye-shadows and I couldn’t believe it when I saw her take a basket of expensive make-up to the tills on the other side. I knew I should never have given her that fifty pounds. It isn’t like I’m rich; it isn’t like I wouldn’t like to spend fifty quid on make-up for myself. How dare she?…..

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.