I still haven’t worked out who I want to be or what I want to do when I grow up, so on this blog please join me while I try and work it out while keeping child-like creativity alive!  Find home and fashion inspiration; travel and days out; photography, writing and more. Have fun looking around 🙂



Not living the life I imagined – a chronic illness story

living with hypothyroidism - me with my young kids

I had a little rant about unhelpful ‘inspirational quotes‘ a little while ago, so I won’t go into that again, but ‘Live The Life You Imagined’, is one that gets on my nerves, and probably yours too if something out of your control got in the way. Mine is hypothyroid disease…..

If you’ve not come across hypothyroid disease, here’s the search results from my blog.

I never imagined I’d be fat. I’ve never expected to be thin – I never was; but I never imagined I’d end up overweight all my life. I never imagined that I’d never be able to exercise off any over-indulgences – I used to be quite fit you know. Kickboxing, zumba classes, street dancing – I did all that sort of thing. I never imagined that a walk to the other side of the village to see a friend would wipe me out for the whole of the next day; mentally as well as physically exhausted.

I’ve had hypothyroid disease for many years now, and in the past I’d get a bit depressed about it, but on the whole I got on with life as best I could, but the last three or four years it has been on my mind a lot more. I think I’m much more tired than I used to be, and that’s been difficult to deal with. But I think I’ve pinpointed down why recently I’ve indulged in some self-pity and why I’ve started to wonder how I’d be living life now if I didn’t have a chronic illness:

I’ve never had any expectations on life – I take what comes and I do my best. When, at the age of sixteen my boyfriend said he wanted to have children, I took some convincing to begin with. One of his most persuasive points was the life we could lead when we were in our forties – all of the parenting done and dusted; it would really be a new and exciting time of our lives. We could do anything we wanted with the second half of our life. So my only expectation I’ve ever had, was that this would happen. My career could really get going; we could go travelling; anything! I didn’t have specifics in mind, but I looked forward to it.

life with hypothyroid disease - lifestyle blogger with grown-up children

So now that time has come. My kids are 23 and 20 and although they live at home and I’m still needed; my time bringing up children is at an end. And that’s the thing that I’m struggling with – all the while I’m bringing up children; well that’s enough isn’t it?! That’s my job. That’s what I was doing. (Looking back, I surprisingly fitted a remarkable amount of other stuff in as well!) But now…now what? Everything is much more of a struggle than I ever imagined it would be. I’ve been looking forward to my child-free years so I could make something of my clothing business instead of it just ticking along. But if I’m tired, I make stupid sewing mistakes or find myself spending half an hour trying to decide if the neckline should have lace attached, because my brain just won’t think. The same with writing; there’s no point in trying to write well when I’m tired. And the problem is, I’m tired A LOT.

Now I can no longer call myself a mother; what exactly is my identity? Someone who…struggles! I’m struggling to come to terms with this change in my expectations for this point in my life, that’s for sure!

Do you have expectations for the future? Are you a five-year plan person or a take it as it comes person?


Linking with #sharealllinkup at Not Dressed as Lamb.


Other posts you may like:

Adagio teas
Tea for people who don’t like tea! (And for those who do.)
October 3, 2018
When Adagio Teas asked if I’d like to work with them, I had to be honest in my reply; that I don’t actually like tea. On my trips to America, this is like saying I’m not actually British, but my main disgruntle is that I couldn’t join in with all the beautiful Instagrams of cups of tea! I do, however like fruit infusions, and the mango flavoured tea I had at the Jane Austen Centre a couple of weeks ago was very nice, so I asked if I could try their flavoured tea….
Review of Witness for the Prosecution at County Hall, London
A review of Agatha Christie’s play, Witness for the Prosecution, at County Hall, London
April 28, 2018
It was my birthday last week. And it was a big one. The kind with a zero. The weekend afterwards I celebrated with my family (which was lovely – look out for the vlog coming soon!) and I’m in the process of organising a day my friends are free at the same time to celebrate with them (I am determined to milk this for as long as possible!), but for my actual birthday day, I wanted to do something special. All the time the kids were young, I hardly bothered celebrating my birthday, but although we have had a couple of days out in more recent years, this time I really wanted to make it count. So, I went online to see what theatre productions are on in London at the moment. I’ll be honest, I wavered and nearly didn’t bother with the whole idea because my god, it’s expensive isn’t it? And why can’t they tell you the price of tickets until after you’ve given half your personal details, chosen the date and studied the seating plan?! We were also limited by the type of thing we’d all be interested in. Something we’d all love is of course The Cursed Child by J.K. Rowling, but at £1160 for the four of us to see both parts that day, we decided our Harry Potter fan-ship can be shown with Primark mugs and slippers (that wear through in 3 weeks) instead! However, something else we all enjoy watching on the telly together is Agatha Christie adaptations, and when I found out that Witness for the Prosecution was being played in an actual courtroom, that tipped the balance over Mousetrap (which I’m pretty hopeful will still be on for my 50th birthday!) and I booked the tickets….
Making a floral display with vintage bottles
How to make an easy but impressive floral display for the whole year
October 9, 2017
I have a thing for old bottles. Whenever I see one in a flea market or boot sale, I always pick it up; wonder what it once held and who in its history has owned it; but end up putting it down again because I’ve never had a reason to buy it (aren’t I good?!). However, I’ve finally thought of a reason to buy a whole load of them! And because I was impatient, I bought a job lot of vintage clear glass bottles, but actually it would’ve been fun to build up the collection over time, picking one up here and there. I thought this would be a nice quick and easy blog post just sharing my flower arrangement idea, but I ended up being pulled into the time-draining vortex of the internet discovering all sorts of things about old bottles! Did you know there are collectors’ clubs and events all over the country? If I had time for another hobby, I can see that vintage bottle collecting could become one of them!…..
Burlesque Wonderland – Alice through the Martini glass at The Fleece in Bristol
October 5, 2016
From blackberries yesterday to burlesque today! And why not? Rain didn’t really know what to do to celebrate her twenty-first birthday. She had originally planned a day of wand-making (yes really) with her two best friends, followed by films and a sleepover. Then Jude spotted this event in Bristol just a couple of days beforehand and we all decided that we’d quite like to go. So the wand-making stopped early for everyone to change into their Alice in Wonderland Costumes….



Life does have a way of throwing some curveballs. I definitely would not have imagined where I am now. I do have 2 friends who struggle with thyroid problems, one with hypo and the other with hyper. And while I have never been there myself I understand how it is a struggle to come to terms with. I hope you find your place in the world this year, I must be a hard transition from being the mom who is needed all the time (my stage right now with 4 boys under 12) to being the mom who maybe becomes more the friend?



Thank you for your lovely comment Mireille, I hope your friends are doing ok. Four boys must keep you very busy!! Yes, it’s a weird transition as they become adults, but all of us are starting to get used to it; I’m a friend who tells them off for not putting their mugs in the dishwasher!


Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.